November 20, 2010

Like Clockwork


Well Skrotee, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into.

"Let's become neutral mechanics-for-hire like the goblins!" you said. "Let's offer our services to the Forsaken! I bet they could use our mechanical expertise! They're so busy being all scary and ghouly, I'm sure they'll love us. They'll rain gold coins down on our heads!"

I said no, that it was a terrible, hare-brained idea, that we'd regret such a stupid move. But you wouldn't listen! And now look at us!! Locked up in their wretched clock tower, forced to serve their sadistic community as living clocks. What a nightmare! This is all your fault, you know.

What a brilliant plan, dummy. Oh, what an ignoramus I have for a brother!

Ma was right. I should have become a lawyer.



sup b

LOL U MAD BROTE?

oooh look i found a monocle now i can look rich

whee it's my turn to announce the time brb



Hey Skrotee,

Are you serious? "Good morning to all you early risers?" What is wrong with you, little brother? Have you forgotten that these monsters have us chained up like animals to do their bidding, like mechano-hamsters in a wheel? You disgust me.

Also, take off that silly monocle. You look even dumber with it on.

The thing that really fills me with rage about our situation is how avoidable this all was. I know you're a hopeless optimist, but really? The FORSAKEN? You couldn't have started us off with, oh I dunno, maybe the Tauren or Tuskarr as clients? Somehow I don't think they would use us like household devices.

No, instead you insisted on walking us right into this horrifying town of plague and death. A dumb plan, but even worse considering they ALREADY HAVE AN ENGINEER! We must have seemed like a freshly roasted turkey dinner, gift wrapped for their enjoyment, strolling through their gates.

I suppose I should be SOMEWHAT grateful that they didn't immediately use us as test subjects for their latest poison gas or death slime or whatever they hell they're doing over in that laboratory.

Lucky us.



hay brote

i think i soiled myself

o_o



Skrotee,

You disgust me. I hope one of us dies. I hope that one is you, brother.

You know, there's one thing that really sticks in my crankshaft about our captivity.

It's not the fact that we've been stripped of all freedom and dignity by these undead abominations, or that I'm stuck in this room with no one but YOU as company. And it's not even the fact that they torment us, tease us, and threaten to punt us across the ocean. I've even come to accept the sickening gas and smoke leaking from their cauldrons and barrels of toxic goo that we breathe in every hour of the day, undoubtedly shortening our miserable lives.

No, I've come to accept all these things. But do they really have to make us wear these damnable booty shorts?? I don't know which is worse - my escalating hypothermia or my utter mortification at having to spend every day in my skivvies.

Death, please take me soon!




look brote i drew you a picture




Hey Skrotee,

Did you ever think that maybe there's some sort of bigger reason why we're here? Maybe we've been imprisoned for a reason that we have yet to discover. Sometimes I wonder if this is all punishment, penance for some horrible wrong I committed in a former life.

Also, I've always scoffed at our dwarven friends for their divine faith, for trusting in something that cannot be measured or calculated by any true logical means. I mean, what a preposterous concept!

But sitting here in this shack, stripped of everything that I hold dear, I think I've discovered something. Call it humility, call it a revelation, but I can't help but think that if we believed in their mythical Light, even in a disastrous situation like this, we wouldn't be alone.

Maybe our ordeal is meant to teach us something, Skrotee. That even without our tools, without our devices, we would still have the Light to comfort us. And what exactly are we doing here, anyway? Simulating a clock. A mechanical contraption, finely designed and precisely calibrated, intricate and complex...the epitome of what our culture treasures and reveres.

Is this what we're supposed to learn? That our vaunted technology and devices are caging us and holding us back? I know I'll never look at a clock the same way again.

We've both heard Rohan speak of the inner peace and tranquility that fills their souls in the most harsh of times, and my gosh, I sure could use some of that right now. (Damn short-shorts.)

If we ever get out of here, I think I'm going to look into this further. Maybe we've been so obsessed with logistics and figures for so long, we've missed what the dwarves have been trying to share with us all these years. I think...I think I've found religion, Skrotee.

What do you think?



brote

i was right

i did soil myself

>_<






Skrotee,

I hate you so much.



Show/Hide Letter Notes


Pertinent Lore:

Brote

Skrotee

I happened upon these two gnomes completely by chance. I'd leveled through the area 2-3 times before and had never noticed them, since they only do their announcements on the hour!

Their quotes and arguments are really funny. I'd highly recommend reading their WoWPedia entries (that I linked a few lines up).

The idea of having Brote find religion completely ambushed me. I wasn't intending on doing it, but thought it would be funny to have him get all deep and philosophical, only to be met with an idiotic response by Skrotee.

However, when I actually thought about it, their situation has some really delicious poetic irony to it! The gnomes cherish technology and machines, and these two are imprisoned by the Forsaken to serve as what? A clock, a complicated, precise machine! The actual symbolism at work here is almost staggering.

If they were just slaves, or if they weren't gnomes, the significance would be lost. But I can't help but wonder if Blizzard did this on purpose, for the irony and almost theological statement/criticism about gnomish culture.

I'm probably over-analyzing it. Still, an interesting theory.

I also found a funny little glitch. I used Mind Vision on Skrotee to take a screenshot, and after I broke the spell, he disappeared! His name was still there, but his body was gone! Naturally, I had to test this on Brote too, and he vanished as well! Kinda funny.

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